Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
