Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You smell like stripper and shame
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
