I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
