man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
