so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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