So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't deserve a penis
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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