Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
birth control should be required to get into college
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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