I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
