Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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