Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
