No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
