They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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