The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
