you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
