You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think i have two assholes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
