The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
