ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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