She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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