Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
