No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
