if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You're a waste of cheezeits
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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