you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
