i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
