is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
