So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
