Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
