I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
