worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
