your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
