Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
