Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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