my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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