i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
