You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
