Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
