i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
