today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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