I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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