youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
