This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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