I think i peed on brittanys purse
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
