we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
