I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Green mimosas i think yes
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
