how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
