...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
