Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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