I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
