The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
