ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
