Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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