Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
